For L.N. .... BLAZE THE LIGHT I KNOW YOU ARE

Some of us are going through very difficult times lately..... again

The worst they can do is make life miserable and make us suffer, so kill them with kindness... and ignore them asap... because there is also love and there are blessings... and this life isn't forever... but Life Itself IS... I know this to be true... I have seen the other side... I have had past life memories...

....and I met again one I knew who died when he was 12 and we met again when he was in his 40s... He had problems then and he never let them go... They seem to have come from ancient times, in a dream I had soon after he died at 12... where he was a prince who killed his father by pushing him as he said NO to being a warrior...The king slipped and fell and broke his his head on a stone floor and died, so he ran away...because he didn't want to be a king and have that kind of power over people... He was a musician and a gentle one then......

... When I saw him in his 40s,in this life, I saw his mannerisms and heard his words... He looked different, but I recognized him as surely as I would someone I met in the dark that I had known before...He was terribly wronged ... but he nurtures that pain and anger ... I don't know why but he cannot seem to let go of the pain and anger, and he is only getting angrier because noone can get through to him.. and he feels very alone, but refuses to let go...
Our friendship picked up where it left off, and we really helped one another for a few years, but it was sooo difficult to deal with his "demons"...and I know he loves me as a friend and person, but then he gets angry and pushed me away and I couldn't bear it anymore... He was so caustic... I had to let go...He repeats his story of pain and suffering and anger like Gollum... It's boring to see and hear him digging the rut ever deeper... He could do nice things but he would never really SAY nice things and many times he would just turn like a snake. .. so great is his fear of loving and being so horribly betrayed again ... It may take many lifetimes for him to change... I know he will but when I don't know...
Don't let that happen to you... Never let them turn you from who you REALLY are...THIS world isn't all there is... Be the LIGHT you really are

I know you are hurting and so tired and it's ok to be angry ... You have no idea how angry I get toward those who have no compassion and tell lies, but I fight with myself not to think about it. Sometimes we are living the hell and it's impossible not to be very angry and say things like this... I know.... Inside myself, I do it too... and in the past I said it aloud to those who were making me suffer, but most of the time I didn't shout it, I frowned and grumbled it and growled it under my breath... and then went and sat with nature or alone in a room where I felt safe and warm and slept a lot..

Sleep and eat and and be silent for a time., as you can.... and remember YOU ARE UNIQUE ... THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU... AND YOU ARE PRECIOUS... BORN OF THE LIGHT