A Personal Note on ... Music on the Staff of Life

Years ago when I was in my teens, I was under contract to an agency in New York City, but when this branch of the agency, based in England, left the United States, I allowed my contract with them to run out, to state that simply. Still, each week, I continued to perform in a club, or two, in Greenwich Village. One evening I was approached by a producer for the program, to write and perform a song it.  I wrote and performed  RACE WITH THE WIND  on Wide World of Sports, for the International Moto-cross Championships from Pepperell, Massachusettes.

During the time I was working as an independent, for this company, based on Nob Hill in California, I heard a  recording by a man whose voice filled me with something akin to the touch of an angel. This producer had asked me to listen to it and tell him what I thought of it. I was near speechless, as sometimes there are just no words to truly convey how something touches you. It was in my mind for hours after... He told me his name was JOHN DENVER and said he was going to be working with him, since he had been part of a group, THE CHAD MITCHELL TRIO,  but was now going out on his own to make an album. From time to time I heard more about what he was doing.

Around that time, I was, also, told that the record company that had signed him also wanted me. But... well, to make a long story shorter, after I recorded my song, and it aired on ABC TV in December of 1969, my life took a turn and I was unable to perform as I had.

 It was a while after that before I finally heard his voice again... as his song about the mountains rode the airwaves on stations coast to coast. Of course, I purchased his album, and it was one of my all-time favorites. I watched him on every TV program he was a part of, and loved his performance in a movie about GOD! It was always a great inspiration to me during difficult times. And through the years I continued to hear things about him, not just in the mainstream, but through word of mouth through people who knew people I knew. Somehow, the more I heard, the more I felt I had known him somewhere before, but I didn't mention it, because there was no way we could have really known one another in THIS lifetime... But it was a dream of mine to, one day, be able to perform with him, even if only on one project...

... but that wasn't to be...

Life moved on... I married and had two sons who also loved his music. When they were in their teens, I went through  divorce. It was a difficult passage so, all summer of 1997, I kept referring to that movie more than I had at any other time. My sons and I talked about it to their friends as well. It gave us peace and happiness. We had hoped to share it,on a gathering, but we never got to do that, for one reason or another.

One, warm, Saturday that autumn, there was an Air Show at the Airport nearby.... to the southwest of where we lived, only  a few short miles away. Planes of all kinds had filled the sky for hours the day before, but this day, there was narry a sound in the early afternoon when I went outside to rake leaves. There wasn't even the usual sound of traffic on the highway, not far away, the sounds of people coming and going, or even birds singing... only a gentle ruffling of autumn leaves. The whole world seemed to be at peace that day, and everything was bathed in a golden/orange light such as I had never seen before. It was like the eye of a storm, not only because of this silence, but for me, in my life, as well. I felt such a peace that I wished it could last forever. The golden/orange glow seemed to fill my soul with something of a Promise.

I raked slowly, thoroughly enjoying the experience. I put the leaves in a little pile to burn some, but as the breezes were so slight, it, burned slowly. Like a stick of incense it's fragrance waifed out on the air, ever so lightly  to the northwest, mingling with the scents of warm autumn leaves, pine, and ripening apples and berries. I watched as the little stream of grey smoke rose up like a ribbon, swirling gently as it trailed upward.

Suddenly, I saw a little, white, airplane approaching it from the west. With a sence of horror I noticed that the little waif of grey smoke had turned as dark as coal. A rush of fear ran through me... I grew concerned that it might cause an accident if it interfered with the pilot's visibility. Suddenly, I felt filled with terror and felt my heart sink in my chest. I could "see" this plane crashing...and I feared I had something to do with it... but as I watched, it seemed to be toying with it... like two skilled dancers in a beautifully correographed dance.

As I watched, without notice, the plane was coming straight toward me... but where was the sound of an engine? There had been NONE. Although I can't say for certain, it must have been a glider... but at such a low altitude? As it got closer, it went from being upright to turning on it's side, just briefly... dipping a wing to me? And with that, as if from a dream, I heard a voice call my name...saying, "I'm going soon, but before I do, I wanted to see you and to tell you  not to be sad when you hear of my passing. I'm sorry we never had the chance to sing together, but there will be other times. " With this, I felt a wave of love surround me; a joyous feeling ... I could sence the pilot was smiling... enjoying  his freedom, his bliss...

I blinked to clear the mist that had gathered in my eyes, and when I looked up again, the plane had vanished...  Although I felt a sorrow that welled up inside me as if my heart would break, I felt a great sence of  release that goes beyond words, and a joy that sings in the soul so deep that it cannot be heard or expressed ...

As I stood there looking at the empty sky, I wondered what this meant... and who that could have been. I turned to look to the south, wondering if I might hear the sound of a plane ( there was none ) ... and beheld enormous billowing clouds as if from some master's painting...  Light blue-grey on the bottom, golden-orange, then rosey- orange, with billows of pure white and edges of pure gold... It was SO beautiful that I didn't want to take my eyes off it... I felt that I was looking up at  a Heavenly version of The Rocky Mountains ...

Less than a month later came the news of his passing... I felt as if a little black ribbon of smoke had severed a little, white, plane from the earth ... Silence filled my heart where his songs had been... and yet, I felt a Promise.

My sons and their friends were the ones who delivered this news to me, done with love, which couldn't have been better... No doubt they will remember it well... I had told them about this... and they knew that I had known...

And now, as then, whenever I feel the world pressing me and feel in need of a loving touch, a beautiful voice to scerenade my soul, and raise me up on wings, I have but to turn on my computer and listen to him sing.... IT AMAZES ME...  he is FLYING FOR ME... he is flying for US


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<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

PS...  it sure does raise a few questions about who we are, why things happen as they do, and life itself , doesn't it?