MERRY CHRISTMAS 2012

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE...

peace and quiet, and a star in sight

a candle's glow, and sweet songs in the night ; 

snuggled up with a sweet, warm drink

time to dream and not to think

 

THAT'S what I love on Christmas Eve!

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS 

AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!! 

" THE WEATHER" man

In the course of my life, I,  like most people, have encountered many kinds of personalities, and perhaps some people will identify with the ones I portray. There are elements of real experience in the telling, but also various alterations and embellishments... and so it is with this is one I shall refer to as

 "THE WEATHER" MAN...    RLR

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     In all my life, I have known people I have loved, and others I didn't like at all, but I always knew something about them as a person. I have met people I liked or didn't feel comfortable with on the first meeting, but I always knew why. There was always some kind of conversation, and something said that caused me not to like them, or to like them, and want to see them and get to know them better. But there are some who have just left me curious...

     There is this person that I encountered throughout many years of my life, one who, I'm sure, knows people I know, but who has been more like weather than a person... except that weather is controlled by factors in nature and not be conscious thought. Weather is predictable sometimes, but most often, it’s not, though it has patterns that are recognizeable. This person was always unpredictable, yet there was a pattern to the weather they created. When he spoke to me at all, it was like trying to make sence of voices in the wind. He seemed to be saying something, but in the end, they are just the sounds of the wind, or a crashing like thunder... and later on I'd notice the damage the wind had caused. ( *perhaps more than once, but usually they would be like a gust of wind and passing showers... )

     Storms have names sometimes, and they have personalities too. Hurricanes for instance. You cannot speak to a storm. It doesn't listen. It just does what it does. You can track it, yet not really know where it's going and what it will do. You can never really get to know a storm. You can only experience it. Sometimes a storm will come up totally out of the blue and do great damage. There's no way to prepare for it. You might see clouds forming in the distance, but think it is just a raincloud only to find it is creating a tornado and hail when it suddenly approaches... or you might be indoors and not see any sign of it until it's right there. Sometimes you see it coming, and don't have time to do anything about it but try to seek a safe place. But sometimes you can be stand outdoors enjoying the beauty of a warm summer's day, thinking of how nice it might be to see a rainbow, see a cloud in the distance while the sun is still shining where you are, and get hit with a bolt out of the blue. Nature is like that... but it just does what it does. It doesn't do it intentionally to harm anyone.

     People make conscious decisions. There are those who act and speak without thinking, yes, but there is always a conscious intention behind it. If someone speaks nicely to you, they have an intention to do something nice. If they yell at you, they have the intention to do harm, even if they really aren't mad at you personally. You will be the one hit by their thunderbolt, and suffer the consequences (and so will they ) and they didn't have to do that.

     Throughout my life, I have spoken nicely to people I didn't know, only to have them act nasty to me. I will never know why they did that, but it's usually not someone I see again... or, sometimes, it's someone I get to know and I ask them, or get to know something about them their lives, so I can figure it out... or someone I know knows them and tells me some things about them so I understand to some degree. Sometimes I see them acting like that every time I encounter them, and it's usually brief, and I can see that they are just like that. I don't need to know them to see the way they are. It shows... even if I never know why they are like that. I don't take it personally because they are always like that... or I'm not likely to see them again anyway.

 But this person was not really like a person I met in passing, . I knew who they were. At least what they looked like and their name... the rest is a fragmented story, and that's about it.

     Since I really never got to know this person, and they really don’t seem like a person to me, from here on I will refer to them as IT… a weather condition. … I never got to know IT. IT never got to know me… There were times when the sun seemed to shine, but mostly there were unsettled atmospheric conditions  that arose from time to time… like lightning in fog or some other strange occurrence.

Sometimes a brief encounter seemed pleasant at first, then IT spoke like the wind saying things that made no sence. Then, usually with a bit of a gust, IT was gone. Time would pass and it would happen again. IT wasn’t just passing by without notice.  There were actual encounters... but it was akin to having a whirlwind coming at me, swirling and catching me up in it for a moment, and sometimes shoving me into a wall or something, and then IT was gone again.

     I learned where this storm originated, but I couldn't contact it. IT, this person, wasn't there, or didn't respond, or spoke like voices in the wind. There was no conversation. I couldn't speak to IT. Like a storm, IT didn't care what I had to say. IT just did what IT did, and was gone again.

     I can't say I know this person, any more than one can know a storm... but I experienced IT.

IT seemed to have targeted me on numerous occassions, including on the first encounter many years ago. IT had come up to me (... and that set off a series of strange weather conditions that continued for years.) At other times IT seemed to be coming toward me, and then vanished. Suddenly IT was appearing, as if from out of nowhere, and trying to make it seem like it wasn't planned, though it was. For a time IT had actually avoided me... intentionally, but I didn't take it personally. Weather is what weather is...

     Like on a file in some folder at the weather bureau, IT has a phone number, and because this kind of thing had been going on for so long,  I opted to call. I thought it would be better to have an actual conversation than to continue this strange series of whatever this was.. I left a couple of messeges.

      When IT finally called me back, IT became VERY personal. It knew who It was speaking to, and identified ITself by name.I tried to speak, and make what I had to say as clear as possible, but IT kept twisting my words and intentions around and throwing them back at me  in a highly contemptuous manner. Its words were like lightning bolts that seared me to the core, and I never fully recovered this experience.
     

      I had not gone up to IT...  IT had come up to me, passed a few words over the years, did what it did and moved on... then THIS!
     

     After that, I saw IT here and there, and again it was like the wind speaking... or the crashing of thunder and IT would be gone again. Time would pass. It would happen again... with IT coming to where I was... as if by mere coincidence, again.

     It's like being stalked by a storm … and WHY? I have no desire to  risk being hit by lightning again. IT's verbal assaults were raging.  As with a storm, you can't ask it why it did that. It never says anything. It just vents and leaves. It doesn't care what you have to say... it just does what it does. There is no reasoning with it. Yet, within this storm there is a person. There is intention.

     A person can speak like a warm breeze on a summer's day, or they can shout and spew venom. They can speak to and treat treat you nicely or badly. This is no accident. This isn't just nature doing what it does.

I have learned that when I seem IT coming, to remain calm, and let IT pass... I have come to see that whoever this person is, their likes and dislikes, their life story, is something I will, more than likely, never really know. But I have experienced them...as an indifferent breeze or a cold brisk wind ... once or twice as a gentle warm breeze... and finally, like a STORM... But like the weather, IT comes and goes. I never know when. It's impossible to really like or dislike IT because It changes all the time...but I can like or dislike what it DOES..

      Yes, to me, IT not a person, though I know they are... to me IT is as the weather... (Though this has intent, and can make choices as to the direction of the weather and the kind of weather they will create )… like a Hurricane, whose eye is on me from time to time, and I'd venture to say, based on numerous past experiences, IT will continue to do what IT does ... whatever it does... And as with the weather,  I take comfort in knowing that, this too shall pass...

I remember WINTER

When I was a kid in the middle ages of earth ... lol... It got cold in November and the first dusting of snow came by Thanksgiving. It stayed at 32 or below, (but rarely got below the teens)... until early March, sometimes with a brief January thaw right before the BLIZZARDS came... and we ALWAYS had one or two or even three of those... There was ice for skating and snow for sledding and making snowforts and things, and it was usually at least 2'deep most of the winter. Ice really wasn't a problem because the sand or ashes we put down didn't wash away with a thaw or winter rain... We did it once and that was that, unless it snowed again, of course. It was cold, but there were no winds to speak of except during the blizzards. We didn't have all the fancy gear people have today...only layers of socks stuffed into over-sized hand-me-down play sneekers and rubber boots ...woolen mittens and scarves and flannel lined jeans and layers and layers of sweaters and stuff, ( like Ralphie's little brother  in A CHRISTMAS STORY* = ) but we were outside all day most of the time. We had dozens of pairs of mittens to replace wet ones with (and we did that fairly often) ... and we loved it!

Ahh those were the days : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ============ weeeeee!!! * = ]

PEARLS

There are so many people who have a lot to learn in this world, we could easily use it as an excuse to find fault with and treat them badly, but then, that's only adding to the misery of the world and not doing our part to try and make it better. We may not succeed, but we don't have to add to it... LOVE is always the right choice...because inside of each of us is that Divine Spark we call a Soul. Without it, we would not be alive.

I guess you could say that some people are like poisonous sea creatures that create for themselves a hardened shell and never produce anything of value... And some are like Oysters that surround themselves with LOVE to protect themselves from the painful experiences of life that are imposed on them, and they are the ones who create the precious pearls.

below is the link to a very interesting video  on how pearls are made...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T18E58vOTus

AS YE DO UNTO THE LEAST OF MY BRETHERN / PET PEEVES

*PLEASE NOTE:These are things I ponder... so please don't take offence because none is intended and I'm not pointing a finger at anyone... and when I say YOU It's just a point of reference and I don't mean YOU personally, ok?

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For years I have heard people say that noone can help another .... that they have to do it themselves. There is truth to that when someone has a personal problem within themselves, but when the problem is in regards to conditions and not the person or persons involved, that isn't so. If someone is drowning and cannot swim, more often than not, someone else can help them get back to safety, or at least they can try, or call for assistance. Clearly the drowning person isn't in a position to do that. Even if they are a good swimmer, if the water is turbulent, they will drown without assistance. If you don't believe you can save them yourself, you can still do something to try and save them. You need not jump into the water yourself if you feel that would put yourself in peril, but you can do something.

I do not know how people can stand by and watch and do nothing, or walk away and pretend they didn't see someone drowning and say, "It's not MY problem". 

Yet, I have seen people do this time and again, even saying it was their own fault for getting in that position.

There are those who are foolish or reckless or who otherwise DO cause their own problems, (and in truth, we all do that at some time or other in the course of our lives, though some seem to make a career of it) and there are some who will only go and do something to get themselves into a bad situation again by not thinking ahead, or taking precautions or being reckless, but there are many who do all any person can do to do the right things and stilll end up in perilous situations. Accidents happen, and people get pushed by one thing or another, or tricked into something believing it is good by someone who knows how to make something bad look good. It's fine to say they should have known better, or that they must have had a feeling something was amiss and shouldn't have fallen for it, but I don't know of anyone who hasn't been sold something they later wished they had not bought, or done.


All life is a learning experience, and is it right to let someone drown because of some mistake they've made, no matter what the cause of it may be? Children would never make it to adulthood if that is so.

If a child doesn't heed a parent's advice and is reckless on a swing and falls off, should he never go on a swing again? Should the parent simply walk away and leave them laying there? Of course not. But there are some who do desert their children, and then others then come to their aid.

But as adults, we must rely on other people, and not just our parents, for assistance. If that were not so, we would have no police or firemen and doctors and a host of others who make it their life work to save other people and assist them. yet, there is a limit as to what they can do. If someone is in a bad situation, they may be able to make a call themselves, but not always. Assistance oftentimes must come from other indivuals... such as one who sees a drowning person and knows there is no time to waste calling for help, or who at least calls 911.

I would not expect someone who doesn't know what to do to assist someone who has an addiction to go and try to help them get a cure for it, but perhaps they know where to call, or where they might find that assistance. But that is a personal problem. One in the individual.

But there are good people who have problems where others can assist them in some way, and don't offer anything... not even a kind word. Not all problems are our our own making. 

If you have never been in a certain town before, for instance, and you find yourself in a bad part of town because you made a wrong turn is that "your fault"? If you are trying to find your way back to where you want and need to be is it wrong to ask for assistance in getting there? It's not like you're asking someone to drive your car for you... just to get the assistance you require to get back to where you want to be.... If you run out of gasoline while trying to find your way back to where you need to be, is it too much to ask for someone tell you where you can get some?

If you know a neighbor's situation has changed dramatically due to a job loss, or divorce, or illness, is it too much for you to taken them a bag of food, or to give them something you believe will make things a bit easier for them? If they are a neighbor you should know if they are good people going though a difficult time, and not people who aren't even trying and who will take advantage, even if you merely know who they are. Even a bag of food placed on the doorstep or something you believe they can really use here and now, would be a blessing. You might not be able to do do more than that, but it's better than nothing, because they will know someone cares and it will fill a need here and now. It may be that they can buy their own food but can't get to the store for one reason or another.

 There are so many variables and reasons why such simple things as this aren't so simple for some people. It's true that here are those even with disabilities who prefer to do things for themselves.. but does it hurt you to ask if they seem to be having difficulty and you are right there and in a position to offer assistance?

People make all sorts of excuses and give all sorts of reasons why not to assist another. It's not like we have to go out of our way to assist people we sence will pose some kind of problem if we get near them... but there are plenty of people who won't. You don't have to make it a regular thing if you're not in the position to, but even once is better than nothing at all. You might not want to have a homeless stranger come to your house for supper, but that's no reason why you can't direct them to the nearest food kitchen... but all too often it's not total strangers who need assistance and are shunned or ignored by people who know they are simply going through a bad time. If they are a neighbor, no doubt you have been able to observe them for a while, and perhaps spoken to them at a school, church, park or some such place.

Noone who gives and noone who takes a gift like that from another is under any obligation to the other. It is a matter of fear, pride or selfishness that would stand in the way of someone who needs and someone who can provide something. If you can't provide something tangible, at least you can offer a kind word. Generally speaking, there is nothing that means more when someone is going through a bad time.. and they might well have so much to handle that that really is all they have time for.

There are many stories written about people who seem to be what might be called " the dregs of the earth" who really are far from it but due to sudden adverse circumstances have taken on that appearance. but then I have heard people say that they might be desperate and therefore dangerous to get near. Well, nothing makes a person more desperate than to feel that noone notices or cares, and noone will even offer them assistance of the simplist kind.

Jesus was a condemmed man carrying his cross and others watched and did nothing but there was one woman who offered him a drink of water. Would you do that much?

Noone knows what they or their loved ones may yet go through in the course of a lifetime. There have been many people who were doing well today, and who had good credit and money saved, and never thought it would happen to them, only to find themselves on the poverty list tomorrow tomorrow because they lost their job through no fault of their own. And the numbers are growing.

It's easy to blame someone in government, or even the person who is now struggling for survival, but it's so easy to say that someone else should do something about it, while you sit there and simply point an accusing finger, debate issues and do little else.

There are many people who would like to do away with the welfare system, but once people are born into this world there are few options, because people have to eat, and have a place to live. If you put them in prison you are paying for them too. If you think there are enough jobs to go around and that they can work as many as needed to pay their own way, that's an excuse to do nothing. Perhaps you would prefer they die in the street, or in the park where you take your kids to play, or in front of the grocery store where you shop, and pay crews to tote them away to mass graves.... perhaps even you or your own children in time... or maybe we should just parade them all out the warf and put them on a garbage scow and dump them into the ocean...

And as rude as this may sound, I really don't mean it to be offensive, but, among them may be the child born because a young woman wouldn't take precautions, or resort to the " morning after pill", for religious reasons... so think twice about that being an option...... although I would also like to point out that an Angel of the Lord has told Mary that she would bear a son who would be Christ, the Lord... so unless you've had a Holy Messenger appear to you like that, you are probably not pregnant with the Savior, and if you can't afford to provide for them here and now, I wouldn't necessarily rely on God to provide, because I haven't seen him feeding most of the people of the world with manna lately, even if He does do it tomorrow...

Although I don't understand how can it be okay for teens to bring forth a child and the expect the welfare to provide for them, if you do away with welfare and what happens to these babies who are born into the world? Is it right to let them be born and then just let them die? not only would that be cruel and inhuman, but I'd venture to say that the jails and courts would be filled with people brought up on manslaughter charges ...

 Where are all these teen pregnancies coming from, for that matter? Not more than 50 years ago there were very few of them and those who bore children out of wedlock, especially teens, were shunned, bigtime! Today it's accepted as if it's nothing more than getting a speeding ticket... in fact, a DWI, or smoking cigarettes will cause you to be looked down on more. If you keep the baby, you are a hero or something... 

Perhaps they should be fined for it, but then again, they couldn't pay, so for every teenager who ends up pregnant, and whose parents can't afford to meet all the needs,, I have to pay to provide for them and I don't have a say in it in any way at all. If a human life is so precious, how about the human lives that are suffering for being born into this world and not having their needs met?

 Is it worse if it happens to an American baby instead of one of another nationality? Is it excuseable or permissable to have a baby and be on welfare because you had a child in your teens and your parents have always worked and earned well, and your family came here with the pilgrims? Why? And for that matter...if not... why not?

 I don't like the fact that there are many  people milking the systems either, but it's not the little guy, the drug addict, or whatever, who has out-sourced the jobs, raised the cost of housing, medical and food, or who allows illegal aliens to enter the country and stay here, getting into the welfare system. Our government allows that... but even aside from that, if you believe in God, perhaps there is a bigger reason for it than we know... and it might well be beneficial in the future, or that might be part of a bigger plan as far as our government is concerned as well, else why do they allow it?

If you work, and/or own a house but most of what you own is actually on credit, are you really the salt of the earth you claim to be? Do you pay off the balance or apply for MORE credit? You may pay a lot for medical insurance but does what you pay in actually cover the cost of all your medical bills for the course of your lifetime, or are you relying on the insurance companies to pay a sizeable portion of it... If you and a bunch of other people make a lot of claims do they only raise yours and theirs, or does everyone else pay more too? 

Oh, but this isn't the same as welfare...WHY? ... because it's under a different name and system...like  a cat is a cat and a dog is a dog so they have nothing in common? They live in your house, you have to feed them, clean up after them, and cats go to the same vet as a dog, and vice versa, they're not humans, but they have rights, and they are both pets, only dogs need to be licensed and cats usually don't have to be. So, aside from one being a cat and the other a dog, and different species, as far as their expenses and tending how does one differ from the other? Catfood costs more than dog food, but dogs needs heartworm medicine... Cats need litter boxes and dogs need to be licensed... uh huh...  but... where is the REAL difference when it comes to their needs and the cost of keeping them? They are only smelly animals, but cat owners love their cats and dog owners love their dogs and where would we be without them as a whole? Life would be lonelier and less meaningful indeed for those who love them... and while the owners pay to keep their pets, hopefully for a lifetime, they don't pay and tend to all the strays that are out there... Perhaps we should have done away with all of them while we had the chance?

You know, I haven't been to New York City in 15 years, but I still have to pay the MTA surcharge ... to which some have said " Like it or leave..." yeah... nice... born and raised here, ancestors too... so much for Rights as an AMERICAN then huh? 

Of course, I have to vote that out... uh huh... I can vote for someone who is for something I want and also for something else I deem totally intolerable who is running against someone else who has the roles reversed, so... what's your point... if you are one of them who blames the current President today and tells me that if I'm not happy with the way the country is run, vote him out...well... Others I didn't like were voted out, and someone else took over, and it might make a difference somewhere but it hasn't made my life any better... so what's your point?

WE THE PEOPLE is you and me... and you and me united... not you and me on opposite sides. This is AMERICA not a football game. If WE THE PEOPLE don't stand UNITED  and help one another, and teach one another, and think ahead to try and foresee the consequences for our actions not only on ourselves but others around us, and see something of ourselves in every person we meet, then we won't be diversified and strong in our diversity, but divided and scattered like a stone wall that has fallen into disrepair and is now just a pile of rubble... GOD BLESS AMERICANS TO DO UNTO OTHERS AS WE WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO US...

If we can love our non-human companions, surely we should be able to bridge our own differences with LOVE and mutual respect as well...

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*If you think I'm amiss, I'm willing to listen for new perspectives and insights I may not be aware of... feel free to comment...

SCRUTINY ON THE BOUNTY

Lately I have been looking into the past, and once again, I think that perhaps one of the most important subjects to study is HISTORY. It seems to me that  Current Events ( aka NEWS ) are analyzed and scrutinized to the point of being downright picky,  but if you take a look at history, it makes understanding the whole view a lot easier. These days people seem to focus on the details while missing the real picture.... which is like counting  and focusing on the pixels and not seeing the photo.

Time and again I have heard people say not to hold too tightly to the past in terms of one's personal life... but until something is fully understood, perhaps it is not wise to simply "move on" as we are, so often, advised to do. It isn't necessary to analyze and scrutinize every detail of one's experiences to find the outstanding lessons to be learned from it, although details may well be an important part of the over-all picture... and they are not to be overlooked and cast off as if they are not important... but first take a long look at the over-all picture... then down to the details,... not the other way around... which is what it seems to me seems to be the manner of doing things these days..

While every place on earth has a rich history, what is the history of the area in which you live? If you can only go back as far as when they put the first mall up and which business have come and gone since then, and how many times the original mall has been replaced,, you are counting the pixels and missing most of the picture...

There are more places of historic significance than just the sites on a map, and more  history to a location than just what is written in a brochure and on prominent display. Oftentimes at parks, they list the fees and all sorts of business information without giving any information as to the history of the location, which I find very sad.There may be a lot of ruins, yet they are not even mentioned on a brochure or website . A child may as WHAT ARE THOSE? to which someone will simply respond RUINS...MAYBE OF AN ICE HOUSE... but they may never find out, unless someone knows or it has been documented... and details ARE important... but they come after one has seen the entire landscape in an overview, generally speaking...

Before you can really understand what is going on in this country today, you have to know what it was founded on and why... and not merely assume you know based on what is printed in the brochures...

Life on earth itself did not begin when you were born... but it's a good point to measure from in terms of your own life ...

Life in America didn't begin with the signing of the Declaration of Independence either, but it too is a good place to start as you survey the land before and behind, to the right and the left, above and below... no just laterally, and not just beginning here and now... because no matter who is in office as president... it didn't begin with him... and he is being effected by events, just as he is effecting them...

In looking into the history of my own hometown area,  bit by bit I was led also to the Civil War. What prompted me to do this research at this time, I do not really know... but at this time in the history of our country I think it holds some valuable lessons that we ought not forget... that go way back before 9/11...

Therefore I'd like to share this link with you, inviting comments on what you SEE in it... and how it applies or can apply to things today... Something to do when you can't find something good on TV tonight... No pressure... Noone is grading your papers... just a new perspective to take with you when you watch the news, and are concerned about the economy and forget to stop and smell the roses long the way...

I highly recommend:
"DEATH AND THE CIVIL WAR/THE AMERICAN EXPERIENCE/ PBS VIDEO"

* the link to this has expired now and the video is no longer available on-line, but if you click the link it will tell you how to get a copy of it... and it would be a good one to view more than once, and share with others because we all need to know and remember, so that we see where we have progressed and to try to keep history from repeating itself

http://video.pbs.org/video/2280706814

three canoes ...

In gazing out over the river the other day, looking at the mist rising as the night was coming on and the air was cooling, I heard voices from beyond the wall behind me. I thought that in a moment a group of people would turn the corner and present themselves. But noone did. 

Instead, around the corner of the deck I was standing on, there appeared a canoe, then two more, each with two occupants. There were 2 green ones and one red one, meandering and seemingly heading out toward Esopus Island.

 I felt a peaceful joy of watching these canoes skimming the water and enjoying the freedom and comfortable temperature after such a hot day... 3 of them and 2 by 2... Their laughter was followed by silence for a time, and then I saw only two of the canoes. 

As they had rounded the corner of the dock, from the cove, and headed for the open river, in a sudden, somewhat anxious tone of voice, I head a voice say " Did anyone move the car?! " and someone responded, " yes. I did." I supposed two might have gone to set up camp while the others went exploring a bit longer. 

They were heading back in my direction, but not toward the cove where I was. I noticed one of them had a bright white light, as the night was fast approaching. 

It was time for me to leave the park, but as I was wending my way back up the ramp to the parking area, I heard the roar of a speeding cruiser. I looked back and saw it heading north with a great wake behind it. I was concerned for the two canoes out there, in the same area, on the same side of the river... I hoped they were skilled at manuvering them.

 I walked to my car and noticed theirs parked beside me. It was the only one there, so I knew it was theirs. A silver-grey SUV.  I felt the peacefulness of the night and didn't want to leave. I thought of the little group and wished I was with them... canoing... camping under the moon... on the island... But I was a bit concerned as well... praying that the two still out there on the river were safe.

 I said a little prayer for them as I got into my car, looked back at theirs one more time, and drove up the winding little road, in the darkness... to Rt 9...

The next day, when I was at work, in a place along Rt 9, I stepped outside just for a moment, in the middle of the afternoon, to remove a smudge from a window. I stepped back inside and looked back to be sure I had removed it, and suddenly saw this silvery-grey SUV with 3 canoes on top, one red and two green, pass by. The timing could not have been more perfect, and I might well never have seen this at all, so I knew that someone was wanting me to know that they were all safe. 


It is times like that that you know there is more to life then mere coincidence... My heart had been with them... and it was like it continued to be, until they were headed home, and dropped me off along the way...

down by the river

It was so quiet... noone else was there until one young man came to sit and listen to the sounds of nature for while, too. The air held the scents of the river life as it waifed by... like a gentle, ever so slightly cool breath, on this warm June night. There were the cries of laughter and rollicking on Esopus Island in the distance (with people looking like little dots on the shoreline rocks there) and the sound of the trains in the distance among the mountains on the west side of the river, and rushing past on the shoreline not far from where I sat, once or twice, looking like black dragons breathing white fire. There was a dog barking somewhere along the river... a cruiser speeding down river to port before dark, and the slowly meandering party boat with its laughter and music on the west side of the river. The whooperwills, meadowlarks, herons, ducks and geese were getting ready to sleep. The treefrogs, an owl, and crickets were waking up for the night. A few BIG fish lept out of the gently lapping water, and the nearby environmental PILOT boat banged against the dock now and then... The river so long and wide. The sky so wide and filled with billowy clouds with an occassional airplane dancing through them... THIS was MY Saturday night... as quiet and peaceful as ALL Hyde Park was when I was a little kid. Down by the river is like being sent back into gentler times... As it says in WIND IN THE WILLOWS... the river: always changing, yet always the same ... HEAVEN on EARTH

from Norrie Point

                           From NORRIE POINT State Park< Staatsburgh, New York, at sunset...



                           A peaceful picture to look upon when the days get really hot and humid...

                          I'll be walking down by the river, somewhere, you can be sure of that...

                          Down there where the water laps gently and the breezes are cool
                                       and the air is fresh with the scent of life;
                                Where my heart is as free as the sky above
                                        as the River sings a song that speaks to my very soul;
                                                                   I'm HOME            

When I was growing up, I spent most of my time outside, in the woods, by a stream, or on weekends with the family at a park with a lake, or down by the river > Dad was never a one to be indoors unless he HAD to be. When he got home for work, just about every night, unless the weather was lousy, we would go to Vanderbilt's or Mills/Norrie and take a walk while Mom made supper. I remember in the Fall and Spring, we went on Sundays too, when noone else wanted to go along. We just went meandering there. Walking and talking. Him showing me things and telling me things he learned in life, and stories from his childhood here. He taught me most of what I learned about nature, and like him, I love it... and there is something special about the river.... yes, there is.

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a tale of Tender Nurturers, Noxious Shirkers and TOO BUSY

ONCE UPON A TIME...

There was a party being planned for many years, and many were to celebrate a special day of Love and Appreciation... a day of giving thanks and reaping the rewards that were well-earned. It was to be a day spent in a garden where the good things people had done were to be rewarded, just as flowers spring up in Springtime to bear fruit in the Summer.
                           These were flowers too, though of another kind... they were GOOD DEEDS.

The seeds had been planted very long ago, and the ones who planted them had tended them well. They, and other beings from distant realms, had worked so long and hard to nurture them, despite storms and pestilence, and all sorts  of adversities and calamities. Some of the Nurturers had had to devote most of their time to tending the plants, and could do little else for a long time because of the conditions.

 In  addition to all the usual factors, there were some people who didn't care about the plants, and were only concerned about themselves. They didn't like seeing others tending to the plants. They wanted them to do what THEY wanted them to do. So some of the plants were destroyed and had to be replanted repeatedly. But the Nurturers would go back and plant again and again, because they knew the importance of these plants... these GOOD DEEDS

While these others were busy destroying the seedlings, they were not doing what they needed to be doing. They were just being destructive and not keeping up with those other things that needed to be taken care of. They would play, tidy this and that, rearrange the furniture, and do whatever they wanted to do, but they didn't care to help the Nurturers. They thought it was a waste of time. They were like bossy, demanding, unruly children who insist that everyone do as THEY say.... even if it's not a good idea. They spent so much time at having tantrums, and being stubborn and unwilling to do anything that they didn't WANT to do, that not only were the Nurturers having a difficult time of keeping up with the tending, but they were also trying to tend to other necessary things, and provide for the here and now, as well as the future. That was difficult enough, without these others sneaking into the garden and destroying the plants whenever they could. Of course, they would never admit they were doing that. They made up all sorts of tall tales about how it might have happened. They even blamed the Nurturers saying they should have put up higher fences, or taken other precautions.

In due course of time, the Shirkers saw all their resources were being depleted, for one reason or another. They blamed it on the Nurturers for not doing ALL as they should have been doing. They never blamed themselves for wasting their time destroying things and not doing THEIR part as they needed to be doing. If they didn't want to be a Nurturer, they could have been a helper, or a supplier, but they didn't want to do that. They just wanted to go about looking very busy, usually in a huff saying how they had to do EVERYTHING, or else, looking totally inept, so noone would ask them to help out with anything, much less planting and growing flowers in a garden.

Oh yes... The Shirkers... sigh... as usual ... doing as little as possible, but always seeming to be TOO BUSY! Oh they were active, but not really productive. They could do good, even  FABULOUS, work, and be very devoted to doing it perfectly... but only when they chose to. Given a list of things they could do that would really help,  telling them to pick anything on that list, stating that it really needs to be done NOW before things get worse, in regards to something that wasn't pleasurable, was extremely difficult, and required a sustained effort, but was absolutely VITAL, and they would agree... ( "oh yes. definitely! What kind of person would NOT lend a hand in this?!) and then, intentionally (which is of key importance here ) make a terrible mess of it, and walk away., mumbling how noone ever appreciate all they do, or something like that. After all, they never like being TOLD WHAT TO DO... even if it's on a list they can choose from, provided by someone who knows what is needed, and of utmost importance for their well-being  too... but they rarely see that until it's too late... because they think they are immortal or something.

 It would have been better had they flat-out refused, because before the task could be undertaken again, now the mess needed to be cleared away as well... and those things destroyed in their tantrum needed to be replaced as well... but sometimes some of them couldn't be. That made the whole task all the more difficult, which took more time. Tangled vines could not always be untangled so there were whole plants that would never fully blossom, because they couldn't get the sun they required. Those poor little buds would just wither away.

Working in this garden was an endless labour of love, really, as there was always something that needed tending... but moreso in some seasons than in others... and during especially fruitful times, the weeds tended to grow up more abundantly than ever, as well, with removing them being a very time-consuming task. Well, since the Shirkers seemed to like uprooting and destroying things, it might seem that they would enjoy doing that... but they seemed to enjoy seeing the weeds growing and taking what the flowers needed to grow. No doubt they saw something of themselves in them. Hearty little thieves that could take from the seedlings and the hard work of the Nurturers and do nothing for themselves. And like the weeds, they tended to take over and crowd the flowers out, almost to full extinction... claiming the garden as their own, when and wherever possible... for as long as it PLEASED them...


Sad to say that, in due course, after many years of endeavoring to produce a beautiful, productive garden, the Nurturers who could not possibly do all the work themselves, were getting very weary. The spoiled Shirkers (many of whom, also, tended to make this all look like some big joke>  haha so funny ) were, of course,  making matters worse, and were the greatest cause for the increasing failure of the Nurturers to be able to produce flowers as beautifully and abundantly as they once had. ( You remember reading about Eden, don't you?) These Shirkers were so busy shirking, and having tantrums, then going off to play, feeling very satisfied with the things they had taken claim to, that they were not really taking other important things into consideration. If the Nurturers lost everything they had to live on while they continued in the effort to grow the garden,  doing constant battle, they would need  a place to go to, and someone to provide for their needs, returning to them, some good deeds, which they had actually earned.... or they would not be there to produce more for the well-being of ALL, in the future.

Of course, they knew that the Shirkers hadn't done their part, and had even been working against them in destroying the seedlings time and time again, so they would not be asked to assist in the care and tending of a garden they didn't like in the first place. So when that time came, as it always does for a portion of them, somewhere, the Shirkers had no choice but to allow the Nurturers into their domain. Of course, they did everything to make it as miserable as possible, with all sorts of abuses, but the Nurturers stood their ground, literally as well as figuratively, appreciated what they had, laughed and sang, as much as possible, as they worked, ( for it costs nothing and is so divinely priceless ) and bided their time... They had little or no choice, really. It had become a matter not only of the survival of the garden, but of their own survival , individually and as a group, as well... and to others, in far corners they never even heard of, no doubt... (Vive la Revolution Marie... sigh...)

That the Shirkers could be so selfish as to not even want to give up, or just share, any portion of things they had for their fellow man, or family members, should show you how tenacious these bitter, perhaps even poisonous, little weeds among humanity are. The Shirkers seemed to perceive everything in the world as being there only for themselves, to use as they chose, discard when they wanted to, and ignore as they pleased... but they never really thought about who would tend to them when  they got sick, or old, and could not do everything they once might have done. Oh, they  may well have had a nice little income and a sweet little nestegg, but they didn't think they would lose it in a bad economy, or have it all swept away in a storm and not replaced by the insurance companies, or something or other. They felt they were above all that, or had built a wall so high that nothing could possibly gain entrance.... but illness, lonliness, a bad economy, and old age know no such boundaries.

It was worse then trying to assist an injured bear cub in the presence of its mother to get them to share anything... unless it was something to impress, or that they considered to be trash perhaps... in which case they usually delivered that to the front door... regularly... and of course the recipients were expected to be grateful for that... while more time and money were spent on removing it, as the Nurturers still had to  continue to tend the garden as well.

"Oh that stupid GARDEN!  Those LAZY, DO NOTHING, PLAY- ALL- THE- TIME- NURTURERS! They do nothing that really needs doing! If they would  stop doing nice things for other people, and teach their children to raise themselves, and be "practical" like WE are, this would never have happened! And yet, just what have they done for ME... and after all I do for THEM!!! "  ...even if they don't want it... even if they never asked for it... even if they paid dearly for it in some other way...

 They never liked to see themselves as the domineering beings they are, preferring to see themselves as NOBLE... you know, like  kings and queens ... SPECIAL... and indeed they were NOBILITY in that they were little-world rulers, but they were NOT Noble in their motives and actions, or above all, in their hearts. But they never seemed to see the difference, and even a good dictionary could not get the two different meanings across to them...

For the record: Nurturers are not dim-witted dolts. Given some sort of divine gift or other, they might well be among the most successful business people who ever lived, becoming a Nurturer able to employ many Nurturers in a fair and just manner...  or they might well be a father who is  among the best parents and husbands in the world, but, who, because he had a Shirker for a parent, (and it only takes ONE), or a spouse, or someone in some prominent position OVER him, could never seem to get ahead as he hoped, and planned, and gave so much effort to trying to do... They could be anyone in any position in life, male or female, really, but all too often, and for the most part, they are found seeking the best solution possible for the garden as a whole, in an effort to null and void, or at least moderate, the effects of the tempestuous outbursts of a Shirker.... which, generally, contain everything, including the kitchen sink... ( and the bathroom toilet for good measure... generally in need of a plunger by the way... )

(Successful Nurturers tend to be among more Nurturers than Shirkers, but one Shirker can take out a whole Army of Nurturers, because a King, or a Queen trumps everyone else, unless one can get enough the Pawns to stand united... which does happen, but not as a rule... )

And, as you can see by the dust sparkles in the sunshine ( no that's definitely not the magical stuff ) Shirkers are never really idle. They may be sitting there as quiet and motionless as Poison Ivy pressed in a nature identification book of some sort, but they are constantly thinking up tall tales and rehearsing them to look very convincing, and planning... thinking of how "WIN", because that is more important than really producing anything worthwhile, you see. They don't produce much... They TAKE it.... They want CONTROL, and they seem to view themselves as important people when they are bullying others and making slaves out of them. They just don't see the whole view, because they are grinding away at someone, or some thing, to try and make it fit as they want it to, even when it, clearly, is never going to.... and to their way of thinking, it WILL or it's useless...totally...." THROW THE WHOLE THING AWAY!!!  MY WAY OR NOTHING!!!"

Well, back to the beginning... There were many who were planting and tending this garden for a very long time. The day of celebration was at hand. Invitations had gone out to all the guests... all very pleasant sorts... But there was one who seemed undecided. (Well, If he WAS decided, apparently he never told anyone. In fact he never said much, and when he did, it made no sence, unless perhaps you had known him for several lifetimes, or in Alice's WONDERLAND , or something )

It was important that he R.S.V.P. ... A.S.A.P.!!! but he didn't. Time was ticking away as rapidly as a cricket on a summer's night. Soon the Locusts would start their whirring, and by the time they stopped, the snow would be falling... It would be TOO LATE.

 Well, after all the invitations had been sent out, by all the Nurturers and a HOST of others who lent a hand in what was to be perhaps the most glorious display of Fruition since Adam and Eve, the Nurturers were well nigh worn out from keeping the seedlings alive and flourishing.

I KNOW that the last thing the Nurturer who documented this story needed, was to have to go chasing after this Shirker. But he didn't actually appear to be a Shirker at the time. He  just seemed to be... oh no...( the key words that seemed to have eluded the storyteller at the time) TOO BUSY... groan... wilt... ( but then again, the storyteller itself, being a Nurturer as well, was quite busy TOO!... ( and then some... and, as it was rumored, might well be related to Atlas somewhere along the line...)  It was cleaning up and planting, trying to untangle the vines, and a myriad of other things, in an effort to make the world as beautiful and pleasant a place as Kew Gardens...  and from growing as cold as ice... )

Well, it was up to this Nurturer to account for this errant invitation. Being a good-natured creature who really wished this one would come, ( because, after all, he had been invited for SOME reason,) it tried to discuss it and get a response for, oh, something like 40 years I think... and got none... ( which reminds me of what happened when the Titanic encountered an iceberg and sent out her S.O.S. to no avail ) UNTIL the day the Shirker revealed himself for what he really was, as he revealed his decision ... based solely on NOTHING...... spewing out vicious venom, blacker, and more enduring, than India Ink ( for Shirkers never apologise )

There was a clap of thunder as the clouds grew thick and lightning bolts tore through the heavens as he issued his angry Decrees without ever knowing, or wanting to know, what he was throwing away... Every flower that was offered was thrown back with a vengence, as if they were the worst things anyone had ever offered, and in the process, were transformed into something akin to swords of lightning, thrust in 3 times through its tender heart leaving the Nurturer almost lifeless, as he vanished into the unknown ... leaving only a black hole in the darkness...

This was the pivitol moment... the final hour... and sad to say, there was NO doubt after this as to what would follow. His whirlwind of words caused all the preparations to be blown away ,and all the guests to be dumbfounded and disorented. To think that HE was actually chosen to sit at a prominent place at the table, to be an honored guest, IF he had passed the test... which it was an easy one, IF you are a compassionate and caring kind of person. BUT he wasn't, and hasn't been known to be since then either. As I said Shirkers NEVER apologise.

So, as long, sad, tears rained down upon the young blossoms, the celebration was called off, quite likely for a lifetime, at the least... It HAD to be, because of the awful mess he made AT THE FINAL HOUR! So don't believe it if he tells you that his event was called on account of rain... if you were listening, that wasn't the wind howling, it was angels and other Nurturers crying!

Another time WILL come, but noone can say when. He must have the COURAGE OF LOVE, and not be a Shirker, who was more cowardly then The Lion in Wizard of Oz...and not at all  kind.... which is also rather like being the Scarecrow, who, unlike this Shirker, while thinking he was so unintelligent, actually had enough brains not to be nasty to anyone... but you never know when someone might change their ways and find out they really do have a heart afterall... but that's another story.


Well, winter came, but thanks to the slowly occurring polar shift, as messy as the garden has become (since all the Nurturers must have their rest too you know ) it's not as cold as it could have been. If this had had a happy ending you wouldn't believe it really happened, would you? Or you'd probably have little pinch marks all over you, in any case, and then who knows who-all would start asking questions, and demand SENSIBLE answers...

In any case, with this polar shift, perhaps the whole world will become more temperate climate-wise, and perhaps people-wise as well.... as  those noxious Shirkers may well have been weeded out by the handful...

Ah... there you go ... the happy ending you were waiting for... Now you can go to sleep! PEACE, dear Nurturers... for your time is coming...

and >>>> R.I.P. Shirkers for yours is coming as well...

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*The happy ending to this story was dependent on a grown child who destroyed a garden with a tantrum. In this case, it was a boy, but it could just as well have been a girl, for girls do this too


** It might seem that what this story is rather political... but while it has to do with governing, or the lack thereof, it really is about individuals, and little groups, organizations, families, etc... though clearly it does apply to the global championship Chess tournaments as well...

                                ... hmmmmm.... I'm just wondering....where do YOU stand???

                                                As I heard someone say not  long ago >>>

         (and it sounded like a good idea to me.... and I'll pass along before you have more to ... "roo"...)

                                              >>> If I were you I'd ... check ...  mate

                               And if need be, set sail for a better course....

                                                                                                  good luck

WELCOME, SPRING!

SPRING has arrived! I have no sound of the birds, the breezes and the myriad of other delightful sounds that are so gentle to the ear and so healing to the soul; nor do I have a bunch of pictures of flowers blooming in beautiful gardens, lending their sweet fragrances to the warm air, to share with you today... all I have is this photograph and thoughts of what a beautiful day it was to be sitting out in the deck doing some things I would normally have been doing indoors. The sun was so warm and the breezes so gentle that it was like being on vacation without having to go anywhere, except out the door, in my shorts and T-shirt, for a change.

I felt a oneness with life around me, as I had as a child. I became so keenly aware of tiny little things that adults tend to overlook. When I was young, I was outdoors most of the time, and not because my parents told me to be, but because for me, THAT was my HOME, and a house was that place to retreat to when I got cold or it was raining, to share family gatherings, and to sleep in without having to be concerned about bugs and night creatures bothering me... or worse!

On those days, when we didn't have to be somewhere else, NATURE was HOME.

When I was very young, my older brother would usually go visiting with the bigger kids in a neighbor's yard, but my younger brother and I would go to the sandpile by the swingset to visit the little world we had created the day before, to see what of it had survived the night... often finding deer tracks in the soft, dewy sand. The little world we had created the day before often seemed to stay intact until the sun overhead caused it to crumble about mid-day. But if it was warm enough, we were allowed to use the gardenhose to make a new world... with lakes and streams that ran freely as long as the garden hose was left on at a trickle. With an old kitchen sifter, we would sort the pebbles from the sand, gather up tiny twigs and grasses to begin to construct our new world. Little cereal boxes would become houses, and we used things from our selection of cars and miniature people and animals to add life to it.

On very hot days we were allowed to shower one another with a spray from the gardenhose, or to wade in the nearby stream... and sometimes my mother would hook the hose to a peak on the swingset to shower us as we went down the slide or rode the swings. But at other times we rode our bicycles, had adventures in the nearby woodlands, planted flowers with my grandmother, played in puddles in the dirt driveway, or shot marbles. Sometimes HE would go with a neighbor boy to catch frogs and let them leap about on the screened porch til suppertime ( YUCK! ) or I played HOUSE with my dolls and their furniture on the side lawn while they played cowboys and Indians, though sometimes I played too... as Annie Oakley or Pochahontas. (One time we created a teepee from long sticks, old bedspreads, a  length of rope and a hammer and brads! ) Sometimes we sat on the screened in front porch and played board games, or colored in our coloring books, painted with our watercolors, or drew pictures on our pads, all afternoon. At other times, we sculpted things from clay as we sat on the steps of the back porch with a friend or two, and my mother would emerge now and then to fill our glasses with Kool-Aid and offer us homemade popsicles.

  But there were so many things that our sences were taking in in addition to the things we were doing. The many different sounds and fragrances, the textures of things, the colors and shadows...  the way the sun moved across the sky, filtered through the leaves, glinted on the surface of the stream, and made rainbows in the spray from the gardenhose... the way the mudpuddles would become all lined with a thin layer of silky mud that would stick to your finger when you touched it... and how the sun glared off every surface it touched, in mid-summer... the smoothness of this stick and the roughness of that one... and the way the bark peeled off another leaving it shiny and naked, while making a nice little bark roof for a house yet to be built in the sandpile.

Everything was perceived in those terms...with life being as a story book and each hour was turning a new page, creating itself, and us adding our touches to it. Every sence was keen in discerning the subtle differences and the wide variety of them... sight, smell, sound, touch, taste.... size, shape, number ... THAT is a Robin's call. THAT is a crow... THOSE are OAK trees... THOSE are POISON OAK trees! Mmmm Smell the LILACS... MMMM the  Lily of the Valley... The hot dry sand, the cool moist mud....YUM! Grape jelly... YUM! Peanut butter! I have ten marbles; you have ten too! They are so ROUND and smooth colourful! The shooter is BIG the others are SMALL... Life was never boring, and there was always something to do... and to look foreward to doing... Even if only sitting and experiencing it, and listening to your own heartbeat, and breath going in and out, and the goose bumps on your arm where the rain has moistened it and the breeze has touched it...... because nature, and nature in us, is always doing a different dance, every minute, of every hour, of every day...

From mid-Spring til late Autumn, often, when the days were "mine", I even had lunch outdoors. A quick breakfast and "out the door" til suppertime, except to dash in to use the bathroom, or to get some toy or other. Often, on very hot summer days I would lay on a blanket on lush grass, under a tree and read books listening to the breezes in the tree tops, the birds calling to one another from distances, and the murmer of a nearby stream. The coolness of a breeze from deep within the woodslands, and of the earth beneath me was soothing.

But, sometimes, I would go indoors and lay on my bed to read, loving the flowing curtains flittering, like little kites, in the breeze that blew in through open windows. The scent of the fresh air in contrast to the smells of the indoors... of my beadspread and fresh linens, and the paper in the books, the musty warm scent of the attic above me, and  perhaps my mother cooking something for supper in the kitchen below, were like the best of both worlds. I would hear the songs of the birds and the rustling of the leaves OUT THERE, and the sounds of the distant radio playing melodic songs, and of my mother humming as she did light housework, and sometimes the whirring of an electric fan, and the clatter of her Singer sewing machine, down the hall when she was sewing something in her little nitche, at the end of the hall.

Of course, we sang songs, pranced and ran and threw stones, told jokes and riddles, and shared fears and dreams, and made up stories as if the days were pages on which we could create whatever world our imaginations could conjure... and...... we did...

We created our world as surely as an artist paints a picture.... and in the creating, and later in gazing upon it, lives in it.... Just as the painter is aware of every brush stroke and the various colours, textures and hues needed to create the subject  desired, and the whole picture as they imagined it.... but WE used ALL our sences and applied all of them to our creation. We knew it wasn't THE REAL WORLD, yet in a way, it was... just as the painting is real... though at the end of the day, THIS painting was kept only in our minds and hearts, with only an ocassional photograph or drawing to remind us of it in the future.

And today, I opened that treasure box of my memories, as I sat on the deck with my colored pencils and paper,  serenading the trees, and filling myself with THE LIGHT FROM ABOVE...

A Personal Note on ... Music on the Staff of Life

Years ago when I was in my teens, I was under contract to an agency in New York City, but when this branch of the agency, based in England, left the United States, I allowed my contract with them to run out, to state that simply. Still, each week, I continued to perform in a club, or two, in Greenwich Village. One evening I was approached by a producer for the program, to write and perform a song it.  I wrote and performed  RACE WITH THE WIND  on Wide World of Sports, for the International Moto-cross Championships from Pepperell, Massachusettes.

During the time I was working as an independent, for this company, based on Nob Hill in California, I heard a  recording by a man whose voice filled me with something akin to the touch of an angel. This producer had asked me to listen to it and tell him what I thought of it. I was near speechless, as sometimes there are just no words to truly convey how something touches you. It was in my mind for hours after... He told me his name was JOHN DENVER and said he was going to be working with him, since he had been part of a group, THE CHAD MITCHELL TRIO,  but was now going out on his own to make an album. From time to time I heard more about what he was doing.

Around that time, I was, also, told that the record company that had signed him also wanted me. But... well, to make a long story shorter, after I recorded my song, and it aired on ABC TV in December of 1969, my life took a turn and I was unable to perform as I had.

 It was a while after that before I finally heard his voice again... as his song about the mountains rode the airwaves on stations coast to coast. Of course, I purchased his album, and it was one of my all-time favorites. I watched him on every TV program he was a part of, and loved his performance in a movie about GOD! It was always a great inspiration to me during difficult times. And through the years I continued to hear things about him, not just in the mainstream, but through word of mouth through people who knew people I knew. Somehow, the more I heard, the more I felt I had known him somewhere before, but I didn't mention it, because there was no way we could have really known one another in THIS lifetime... But it was a dream of mine to, one day, be able to perform with him, even if only on one project...

... but that wasn't to be...

Life moved on... I married and had two sons who also loved his music. When they were in their teens, I went through  divorce. It was a difficult passage so, all summer of 1997, I kept referring to that movie more than I had at any other time. My sons and I talked about it to their friends as well. It gave us peace and happiness. We had hoped to share it,on a gathering, but we never got to do that, for one reason or another.

One, warm, Saturday that autumn, there was an Air Show at the Airport nearby.... to the southwest of where we lived, only  a few short miles away. Planes of all kinds had filled the sky for hours the day before, but this day, there was narry a sound in the early afternoon when I went outside to rake leaves. There wasn't even the usual sound of traffic on the highway, not far away, the sounds of people coming and going, or even birds singing... only a gentle ruffling of autumn leaves. The whole world seemed to be at peace that day, and everything was bathed in a golden/orange light such as I had never seen before. It was like the eye of a storm, not only because of this silence, but for me, in my life, as well. I felt such a peace that I wished it could last forever. The golden/orange glow seemed to fill my soul with something of a Promise.

I raked slowly, thoroughly enjoying the experience. I put the leaves in a little pile to burn some, but as the breezes were so slight, it, burned slowly. Like a stick of incense it's fragrance waifed out on the air, ever so lightly  to the northwest, mingling with the scents of warm autumn leaves, pine, and ripening apples and berries. I watched as the little stream of grey smoke rose up like a ribbon, swirling gently as it trailed upward.

Suddenly, I saw a little, white, airplane approaching it from the west. With a sence of horror I noticed that the little waif of grey smoke had turned as dark as coal. A rush of fear ran through me... I grew concerned that it might cause an accident if it interfered with the pilot's visibility. Suddenly, I felt filled with terror and felt my heart sink in my chest. I could "see" this plane crashing...and I feared I had something to do with it... but as I watched, it seemed to be toying with it... like two skilled dancers in a beautifully correographed dance.

As I watched, without notice, the plane was coming straight toward me... but where was the sound of an engine? There had been NONE. Although I can't say for certain, it must have been a glider... but at such a low altitude? As it got closer, it went from being upright to turning on it's side, just briefly... dipping a wing to me? And with that, as if from a dream, I heard a voice call my name...saying, "I'm going soon, but before I do, I wanted to see you and to tell you  not to be sad when you hear of my passing. I'm sorry we never had the chance to sing together, but there will be other times. " With this, I felt a wave of love surround me; a joyous feeling ... I could sence the pilot was smiling... enjoying  his freedom, his bliss...

I blinked to clear the mist that had gathered in my eyes, and when I looked up again, the plane had vanished...  Although I felt a sorrow that welled up inside me as if my heart would break, I felt a great sence of  release that goes beyond words, and a joy that sings in the soul so deep that it cannot be heard or expressed ...

As I stood there looking at the empty sky, I wondered what this meant... and who that could have been. I turned to look to the south, wondering if I might hear the sound of a plane ( there was none ) ... and beheld enormous billowing clouds as if from some master's painting...  Light blue-grey on the bottom, golden-orange, then rosey- orange, with billows of pure white and edges of pure gold... It was SO beautiful that I didn't want to take my eyes off it... I felt that I was looking up at  a Heavenly version of The Rocky Mountains ...

Less than a month later came the news of his passing... I felt as if a little black ribbon of smoke had severed a little, white, plane from the earth ... Silence filled my heart where his songs had been... and yet, I felt a Promise.

My sons and their friends were the ones who delivered this news to me, done with love, which couldn't have been better... No doubt they will remember it well... I had told them about this... and they knew that I had known...

And now, as then, whenever I feel the world pressing me and feel in need of a loving touch, a beautiful voice to scerenade my soul, and raise me up on wings, I have but to turn on my computer and listen to him sing.... IT AMAZES ME...  he is FLYING FOR ME... he is flying for US


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<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

PS...  it sure does raise a few questions about who we are, why things happen as they do, and life itself , doesn't it?

SWEET DREAMS

sunset in my own backyard

sunset over the Roosevelt Library

There's nothing more restful to me than thinking back on those good days when life was less complicated and people had more time to enjoy things together and to really enjoy the simple joys of life... on weekends, and on a week's vacation... A weekend? What's THAT? hmmmm... and it seems to me that most people don't even GET a week's vacation these days ... do they?

I REMEMBER how gas was never an issue and Dad did a lot of repairs on his cars... but cars were less complicated then. We went on day trips every weekend... sometimes all the way to Albany, or into Connecticut, or Massachusetts... just to explore, and to enjoy whatever we happened to find of interest. The least expensive way to enjoy a weekend, and I suppose it still is actually, but I still can't afford to do it much these days... and risk running up the mileage. When you have kids, it costs to do anything, so it was a trade-off, I guess you could say... and it was wonderful!!!

We packed a lunch and went on an adventure! There are always free things to do when you look... These days people pay for day-care and to have their kids in sports, and every time you turn around something is costing a small fortune in school, too. We never had to deal with that. I was in Scouts, and that was about it, until I was older... but I was never idle...

REMEMBER WHEN: Kids used to play outside in one another's yards during the warmer seasons... There was always something to do OUTSIDE that didn't cost much at all. Swing sets kept everyone busy for hours... and lasted for years... for an investment of something like $100.

$20 for a basketball kept the boys busy, or about the same for a bat and ball, and it's funny to think of how that seemed like a lot in those days... then wiffle bats and balls came out, and hula hoops, and frizbees... There were balsawood planes, PAPER kites, playing with the gardenhose on hot days, while watering the lawn... fishing poles made from bamboo poles... and EXPLORING!

The biggest individual expense was a bicycle, and they were like $30 usually... and everyone had one. Girls used jumpropes a lot... and we all played TAG and games like that, every day, before and after supper, during the school year, and in the cool of the evenings, in summer ( back when it got COOL when the sun began it's decent! ) Kids loved planting things and watering them, and washing and waxing the family car in exchange for a trip to DQ... raking leaves in the fall, and burning them and then getting the reward of toasting marshmallows over the embers... back when they still allowed that, without a permit...

After literally getting DIRTY, with good, wholesome," grow a vegetable garden" DIRT, taking a bath as a kid was like heaven, to me, anyway. The heat of the water would take some of the chill from the air in the bathroom. as I'd sink into the hot water up to my neck, and soak til I shriveled. It felt briskly chilly when I got out, and mom dried my hair with the hair drier... and then into cozy flannel nightclothes, a bathrobe and slippers to cozy up, and have a cup of tea and with cinnamontoast, in the livingroom, watching something like DONNA REED, with the family, until bedtime... ahh...

I have the window open a bit tonight, for the first time this year. I'll go to sleep smelling the cool fresh air... and thinking on these sweet memories, with some gentle waterfall music on Pandora to lull myself off to la la land for a few hours... SWEET DREAMS

Moonrise over Norrie Cove